Giving The Perfect Gift

I love giving presents! I love knowing what someone likes. There is a special intimacy about this knowing. It has to do with the art of observation. When you are around someone observing what they say, do, think, and feel, what they have in their homes, their hobbies, likes and dislikes, you find out what they care about and appreciate. Getting to know them and finding something that resonates with them is inspiring to me.

It involves the creative process. How do you best express what they care about in some form you can give them? Sometimes this translates into finding some “thing”. Sometimes it is best created by hand—or through someone else’s hands. The creative process is, to me, one of the most enjoyable parts of giving.

Once a form is identified the hunt begins. If it is an object—then the fun for me is finding it in a thrift store, garage sale, craft show or somewhere where there may only be one. This requires thinking outside the box—because you must stay open to the many different forms it might present itself. For instance, you may be looking for a dog bed and be presented with the perfect scarf that will make a dynamite top for a cover for a dog bed. You just never know what you will find and how that can be combined with something else to create the perfect gift.

There is another important dynamic when finding the perfect gift or materials to make a perfect gift. This has to do with the “feeling” of spending time with the recipient. This is quite an incredible thing. When you focus your thoughts and full attention during the hunt on a particular person and what they care about and like, you practically bring them along with you. It’s a very powerful experience.

So now you have figured out the perfect expression for what the person will appreciate and have found it or made it or created it in some form. This might be a song, or a photograph you’ve taken or some object you have found. Then comes the presentation. Is it going to be given in person, through mail, email, by another person? This is another time when creative thinking is required.

Sometimes a subtle presentation is best and at other times you can be more spectacular. Calling upon your knowledge of the person is the appropriate  when deciding on the presentation.

What I really enjoy a lot is seeing responses. I must admit, most peoples’ responses do not measure up to my expectations. Few have any idea of my process or the meticulous care I’ve taken.

Today I had my first scolding from a package I sent. I had carefully prepared a box filled with special treasures for my 90 year old friends’ Christmas. Knowing that they are not able to get out or cook treats I put together a whole box of fun things. A grapefruit. A calander with pictures of my masks. A CD of the piano music I have written during the year. Cookies. Candy. Christmas napkins. A picture of my granddaughter and me on her 1st birthday.

The rejection came in a letter  I misinterpreted as a thank you note when I saw it in my mailbox. I was told in no uncertain terms I was not to EVER send any presents. It made them feel obligated to send something to me and they weren’t able to get out to do that. Receiving the box brought up for them their place in life and ended up making them feel bad. That was certainly not my intention. I also missed knowing the generation gap and what they were raised to expect of themselves.

Overall, I have a pretty good average of giving perfect gifts. Maybe this one flub will be received better with a little time. Maybe not. All I know is that I really enjoyed sharing a little time this holiday season with them since they live several thousand miles away. Hopefully they will come to realize that I miss them. Perhaps they will even feel all the love that went into finding each treasure in that box. I don’t regret sending it to them. I feel as though I know them better now and will respect how it made them feel by not imposing another gift upon them. Hopefully the presents that I have found or made for other loved ones will be met with more favorable reactions. Because, for whatever reason, I love giving   wonderful gifts!