I turned 65 last week. One of my friends encouraged me to find some way that felt comfortable to celebrate because the previous year was so challenging and I made it through, with difficulty, intact. At first I felt uncomfortable just thinking about it. Then I asked myself what would make me the happiest. Immediately it came to me: having my sister come to visit would make my heart sing! After that realization I could imagine the whole thing...
I would throw a party. I would get my close friends together at my friend, Carolyn's beautiful house. My long-time friends would be joined by new ones. As I wrote down the guest list I ended up with 12 women including my sister and myself. I intentionally included people who were very new in my life. Several of them were a bit quirky just to add flavor to the mix. In my mind's eye this party would be completely conducive to feeling loved and cherished.
The party would be a pot luck because so many have dietary needs. People would bring outrageously wonderfully-cooked food with magnificent presentations. Some would eat at the sit-down formal dining table and others in the living room in cushy chairs. There would be a carrot cake with candles for those of us indulging then in sugar.
I would ask each of them and other friends who live in other parts of the world to tell a story about my life. It seemed important to hear this right now. Similar to a Quaker Meeting Celebration of Life we would come together into a womens' circle and share stories. I would sit with an open heart and receive these stories and experiences from my life with gratitude.
My sister would be there. First I had to have the courage to ask her. She is extremely dedicated to her work and rarely takes time off. She hadn't been to Colorado since 1978! My mind raced on and on with reasons why she would probably say, "no". With much trepidation I called to ask her to come. Her immediate response was to tell me that she would consider it. Then, the waiting began. The next weekend I waited for her call. We talked for 30 minutes without her bringing it up. Then she said, "What exactly is your fantasy for your birthday?". I began to tell her in detail and when I had finished she said she would love to come and be a part of the celebration. I was over the moon!!!!!
After that everything fell easily into place just as I had imagined it. Only one of my friends was unable to attend. Carolyn's house was perfect and she was a charming hostess. Everyone brought amazing food that most seemed to enjoy. There was a delicious carrot cake with 7 candles on it--one for each decade and one to wish upon. We ate on china and used sterling silver utensils. It was a magnificent and delightful evening.
As we formed the circle my son, Shannon, called on Facetime and we went around the circle taking turns talking with him as he saw friends he had known from childhood and met new ones. He had written a lovely letter that one of my friends read after his call. I was incredibly touched by this. Then the stories began. Some were intense, some fun, others sad--but all were reflective of different aspects of myself and various times in my life. Starting with my sister--who reminds me she will always be older than me--all through the rest of my 65 years, the stories wove my life together.
One special moment occurred when a fox came up on the deck and looked in the sliding glass door at us. She just stood there watching us as we sat gawking at her. It was a moment I will always remember.
The party was just as I had imagined. It stirred my unconscious deeply and gave me pause. I am still processing the stories. I am staying open to the love I felt so strongly in the circle of my friends. I was awe struck by the beauty of my friends and who they are to me. I feel enormous gratitude for the support system I have gathered around me. It was a party and a celebration worthy of my 65th birthday. It was, in fact, glorious! Oh, did I mention the flowers and the balloons?
I would throw a party. I would get my close friends together at my friend, Carolyn's beautiful house. My long-time friends would be joined by new ones. As I wrote down the guest list I ended up with 12 women including my sister and myself. I intentionally included people who were very new in my life. Several of them were a bit quirky just to add flavor to the mix. In my mind's eye this party would be completely conducive to feeling loved and cherished.
The party would be a pot luck because so many have dietary needs. People would bring outrageously wonderfully-cooked food with magnificent presentations. Some would eat at the sit-down formal dining table and others in the living room in cushy chairs. There would be a carrot cake with candles for those of us indulging then in sugar.
I would ask each of them and other friends who live in other parts of the world to tell a story about my life. It seemed important to hear this right now. Similar to a Quaker Meeting Celebration of Life we would come together into a womens' circle and share stories. I would sit with an open heart and receive these stories and experiences from my life with gratitude.
My sister would be there. First I had to have the courage to ask her. She is extremely dedicated to her work and rarely takes time off. She hadn't been to Colorado since 1978! My mind raced on and on with reasons why she would probably say, "no". With much trepidation I called to ask her to come. Her immediate response was to tell me that she would consider it. Then, the waiting began. The next weekend I waited for her call. We talked for 30 minutes without her bringing it up. Then she said, "What exactly is your fantasy for your birthday?". I began to tell her in detail and when I had finished she said she would love to come and be a part of the celebration. I was over the moon!!!!!
After that everything fell easily into place just as I had imagined it. Only one of my friends was unable to attend. Carolyn's house was perfect and she was a charming hostess. Everyone brought amazing food that most seemed to enjoy. There was a delicious carrot cake with 7 candles on it--one for each decade and one to wish upon. We ate on china and used sterling silver utensils. It was a magnificent and delightful evening.
As we formed the circle my son, Shannon, called on Facetime and we went around the circle taking turns talking with him as he saw friends he had known from childhood and met new ones. He had written a lovely letter that one of my friends read after his call. I was incredibly touched by this. Then the stories began. Some were intense, some fun, others sad--but all were reflective of different aspects of myself and various times in my life. Starting with my sister--who reminds me she will always be older than me--all through the rest of my 65 years, the stories wove my life together.
One special moment occurred when a fox came up on the deck and looked in the sliding glass door at us. She just stood there watching us as we sat gawking at her. It was a moment I will always remember.
The party was just as I had imagined. It stirred my unconscious deeply and gave me pause. I am still processing the stories. I am staying open to the love I felt so strongly in the circle of my friends. I was awe struck by the beauty of my friends and who they are to me. I feel enormous gratitude for the support system I have gathered around me. It was a party and a celebration worthy of my 65th birthday. It was, in fact, glorious! Oh, did I mention the flowers and the balloons?
