Losing A Loved One

My niece, Sybil, died six days after delivering a baby boy (Jack Chandler McFall). She had had a normal pregnancy, but on March 17th she woke up ill. The hospital diagnosed her with preeclampsia and by early afternoon her blood pressure had spiked too high and she suffered a stroke. They performed an emergency cesarean and delivered Jack. Sybil went into a coma and never came out.

Life is fragile and fleeting. You never expect a young healthy person to die. Pregnancy is still life-threatening, in spite of modern medical advancements. Sybil's death has thrown my family into shock and turmoil. Each is dealing with grief in their own way. My brother, losing his only daughter, is philosophizing in his grief and feels totally helpless. His son has initiated a project of videotaping family and friends memories to present to Jack when he is old enough. My sister feels beyond exhaustion in her grief. My son and nephew, having young children by c sections recently, cry easily over Jack being raised without a mother. My feelings seem buried deep inside. We are all heart broken and raw.

Sybil's death has illuminated and forced us to examine our beliefs. We have come face to face with questions about the meaning of life and death. They are both unexplained mysteries of the soul and have no clear answers.

Sybil was a lovely young woman. Her quick with and dry humor amazed us and never failed to bring a quick smile. I have fond memories of Sybil since she was born. She was an incredibly creative and gifted artist who produced many imaginative projects. She was endlessly loving and was not afraid to express it in many ways.

One early memory of her that stands out in my mind happened when my mother died in 1977. Sybil was 3. We had just left the cemetery in a limousine on a snowy blistery February day. Sybil turned around and said, "We can't leave Grandma here--she'll get cold." I hope her spirit is with my mother now.

My most recent memory of Sybil was when my entire family got together at Thanksgiving. Three of the four cousins were expecting babies in the Spring. After dinner we had a shower for the three babies. It was a fun and connecting time for all of us and one that I will always treasure. Sybil was so excited to be becoming a mom and having a little boy. None of us can imagine what it will be like for Jack to grow up without a Mother. Fortunately he has a marvelous Dad who has our complete support in raising him.

Sybil's place in our small family will be greatly missed. We all loved her dearly and pray for her journey into the light.