In my family of origin I am the youngest of three children. My brother is six and a half years older and my sister sixteen months. Growing up in the Mid-West in the '50s, there was a strong hierarchy of power that discouraged change and encouraged continuity, like the cycles of the seasons. The hierarchy seemed to have its roots in Christianity, which made duplicating the domination easy without questioning its source.
This view of the way the world worked was stringently enforced by those in authority. From my child's eyes, they (adults, particularly men) seemed to me to be given this power without earning it. The privilege of having this authority implied there were those at the other end of the spectrum who had no power or control at all.
I was one of them. Along with the women and other children, we went along with the inequitable situation without question or saying a word. The pattern filtered down through the families and the hierarchy was even allowed with siblings. Needless to say, having an older brother put me at the bottom of the pack.
My perception of this situation at the time was that those who were endowed with this power were seen and treated as wise. Wisdom was therefore synonymous with authority and power and was glorified. Wisdom, as lived out by those at the top of the hierarchy, was supposed to solidify tradition and create the "same" predictable outcomes.
To them, wisdom, by holding onto its truths of yesterday, pulled us back into the past and kept us on the treadmill of perpetuating the same old way. Wisdom was required to defend its' position. It had everything to prove and nothing to learn. This kept us in the cage of conformity--the place where no growth was possible or allowed. I found the beliefs of having no change deeply oppressive.
Wisdom, from their point of view, provided a false sense of discovery. It masqueraded as the pearl of great price while it did nothing for us when we were confronted with the unknown vastness of our being. When we felt the fear surrounding our own expansion and growth, wisdom pulled us back into constriction's safety. Everyone was expected to stay within the safe zone and not question it.
I knew from the time I was a little girl that wisdom as it surrounded my life was distorted. I knew true wisdom was the place where growth lives. It seemed to me that growth turned what we thought we knew into a bigger unknown through our life experiences. To me, growth was supposed to be an open companion of awareness, not constricted by it. The picture I had in my mind of what life was supposed to be was enormous and much more open than the world I lived in.
Being the youngest, it was automatically assumed I was the least wise. This gave me the freedom to rely on my own instincts. My innocence birthed truth and unfortunately butted heads with their version of wisdom. This was not popular. It felt as though I was pushing against those in authority while I was actually just enjoying my journey of discovery.
I feel lucky now as an adult that my birth order and gender put me in the position to question authority and the false wisdom that was so ingrained it was taken for granted. It allowed me to let my truth unfold, which put me on the path of being a seeker. Seeking came directly out of my innocence and curiosity. Innocence became, for me, the revealing of truth.
As I separated from my family and their beliefs about what I considered to be false wisdom, I was freed from their authority. I let go of their power to control my future and make me a victim of the past. I was free to gain my own version of wisdom, which was much more conscious than theirs. I found the source of the authentic wisdom within myself. I have gained sovriegnity over my own life, am discovering my own beliefs and can now embrace life with all its constant changes without fear.
This view of the way the world worked was stringently enforced by those in authority. From my child's eyes, they (adults, particularly men) seemed to me to be given this power without earning it. The privilege of having this authority implied there were those at the other end of the spectrum who had no power or control at all.
I was one of them. Along with the women and other children, we went along with the inequitable situation without question or saying a word. The pattern filtered down through the families and the hierarchy was even allowed with siblings. Needless to say, having an older brother put me at the bottom of the pack.
My perception of this situation at the time was that those who were endowed with this power were seen and treated as wise. Wisdom was therefore synonymous with authority and power and was glorified. Wisdom, as lived out by those at the top of the hierarchy, was supposed to solidify tradition and create the "same" predictable outcomes.
To them, wisdom, by holding onto its truths of yesterday, pulled us back into the past and kept us on the treadmill of perpetuating the same old way. Wisdom was required to defend its' position. It had everything to prove and nothing to learn. This kept us in the cage of conformity--the place where no growth was possible or allowed. I found the beliefs of having no change deeply oppressive.
Wisdom, from their point of view, provided a false sense of discovery. It masqueraded as the pearl of great price while it did nothing for us when we were confronted with the unknown vastness of our being. When we felt the fear surrounding our own expansion and growth, wisdom pulled us back into constriction's safety. Everyone was expected to stay within the safe zone and not question it.
I knew from the time I was a little girl that wisdom as it surrounded my life was distorted. I knew true wisdom was the place where growth lives. It seemed to me that growth turned what we thought we knew into a bigger unknown through our life experiences. To me, growth was supposed to be an open companion of awareness, not constricted by it. The picture I had in my mind of what life was supposed to be was enormous and much more open than the world I lived in.
Being the youngest, it was automatically assumed I was the least wise. This gave me the freedom to rely on my own instincts. My innocence birthed truth and unfortunately butted heads with their version of wisdom. This was not popular. It felt as though I was pushing against those in authority while I was actually just enjoying my journey of discovery.
I feel lucky now as an adult that my birth order and gender put me in the position to question authority and the false wisdom that was so ingrained it was taken for granted. It allowed me to let my truth unfold, which put me on the path of being a seeker. Seeking came directly out of my innocence and curiosity. Innocence became, for me, the revealing of truth.
As I separated from my family and their beliefs about what I considered to be false wisdom, I was freed from their authority. I let go of their power to control my future and make me a victim of the past. I was free to gain my own version of wisdom, which was much more conscious than theirs. I found the source of the authentic wisdom within myself. I have gained sovriegnity over my own life, am discovering my own beliefs and can now embrace life with all its constant changes without fear.
