Giving The Perfect Gift

I love giving presents! I love knowing what someone likes. There is a special intimacy about this knowing. It has to do with the art of observation. When you are around someone observing what they say, do, think, and feel, what they have in their homes, their hobbies, likes and dislikes, you find out what they care about and appreciate. Getting to know them and finding something that resonates with them is inspiring to me.

It involves the creative process. How do you best express what they care about in some form you can give them? Sometimes this translates into finding some “thing”. Sometimes it is best created by hand—or through someone else’s hands. The creative process is, to me, one of the most enjoyable parts of giving.

Once a form is identified the hunt begins. If it is an object—then the fun for me is finding it in a thrift store, garage sale, craft show or somewhere where there may only be one. This requires thinking outside the box—because you must stay open to the many different forms it might present itself. For instance, you may be looking for a dog bed and be presented with the perfect scarf that will make a dynamite top for a cover for a dog bed. You just never know what you will find and how that can be combined with something else to create the perfect gift.

There is another important dynamic when finding the perfect gift or materials to make a perfect gift. This has to do with the “feeling” of spending time with the recipient. This is quite an incredible thing. When you focus your thoughts and full attention during the hunt on a particular person and what they care about and like, you practically bring them along with you. It’s a very powerful experience.

So now you have figured out the perfect expression for what the person will appreciate and have found it or made it or created it in some form. This might be a song, or a photograph you’ve taken or some object you have found. Then comes the presentation. Is it going to be given in person, through mail, email, by another person? This is another time when creative thinking is required.

Sometimes a subtle presentation is best and at other times you can be more spectacular. Calling upon your knowledge of the person is the appropriate  when deciding on the presentation.

What I really enjoy a lot is seeing responses. I must admit, most peoples’ responses do not measure up to my expectations. Few have any idea of my process or the meticulous care I’ve taken.

Today I had my first scolding from a package I sent. I had carefully prepared a box filled with special treasures for my 90 year old friends’ Christmas. Knowing that they are not able to get out or cook treats I put together a whole box of fun things. A grapefruit. A calander with pictures of my masks. A CD of the piano music I have written during the year. Cookies. Candy. Christmas napkins. A picture of my granddaughter and me on her 1st birthday.

The rejection came in a letter  I misinterpreted as a thank you note when I saw it in my mailbox. I was told in no uncertain terms I was not to EVER send any presents. It made them feel obligated to send something to me and they weren’t able to get out to do that. Receiving the box brought up for them their place in life and ended up making them feel bad. That was certainly not my intention. I also missed knowing the generation gap and what they were raised to expect of themselves.

Overall, I have a pretty good average of giving perfect gifts. Maybe this one flub will be received better with a little time. Maybe not. All I know is that I really enjoyed sharing a little time this holiday season with them since they live several thousand miles away. Hopefully they will come to realize that I miss them. Perhaps they will even feel all the love that went into finding each treasure in that box. I don’t regret sending it to them. I feel as though I know them better now and will respect how it made them feel by not imposing another gift upon them. Hopefully the presents that I have found or made for other loved ones will be met with more favorable reactions. Because, for whatever reason, I love giving   wonderful gifts!

Friends

I have been blessed with many friends in my life. I distinctly remember when I recognized my first friend. We were 4. In my overly-protected world I had only gone to relatives’ homes. It is impossible to express in words my excitement when I walked the long two blocks to her house. I was fascinated being in a new home with different people, things, rules and feelings. I was aware of the experience of “other”. During the time I spent there I could actually feel my world expand. I can’t explain how exactly—after all I was only 4 years old—but there was a sense that my world would never include just my family and it had a profound effect of me. I knew instinctually that friendship was something very powerful and special.

There was a small group of friends that went to school with me from kindergarten through high school in the tiny town where I grew up. When I think back on them I realize they gave me total acceptance, encouragement to be my best, support with my family during adolescence, and unconditional love. I depended on their steady, grounded, caring and wonder if I’d have survived my childhood without them?

College brought more friends into my life, as did my young adulthood. After living eight years in Upstate New York, I moved to Colorado just as I turned 25. This move challenged me to try to figure out how to maintain friendships long distance. This took an unbelievable amount of energy and work. At that time there weren't texts or email, which narrows the distance today. Then, it took phone calls, trips back and forth, letters and a lot of faith to keep  friendships alive and happy.

At the same time I was trying to maintain friends in Upstate I was joyously making many, many new friends in Boulder. The thirteen years I lived in Boulder were the most abundant for making friends in my life. I really appreciate now, after being away for over twenty year and returning to Colorado to live, what history in a friendship adds. As I re-acquaint myself with them I am having the astounding experience of realizing that I have known, cared about and loved many friends for over 30 years. It is this history that brings with it an extraordinary sense of continuity and consistency that I don’t have with any other aspect in my life.

I have been thinking a lot about friendship. I can honestly say that friendship is the most satisfying part of my life. Friends have helped me practice loving unconditionally, keeping clear boundaries, keeping my own council, trusting, sharing feelings, ideas and dreams and about accepting change. As I have grown in my relationship with myself and come to know myself better—I am better at being a good and healthy friend. Fortunately, I have friends who have also worked hard on themselves, which makes what can seem insurmountable with some people obsolete with my friends. Our friendships have developed over the years into a “safe haven”—a place I can “be” my true self.


The ultimate wonder about friendship and what is most enjoyable for me is the very fascination that I had with my first friend: the phenomena of having my world expand and change. This can include seeing things with a fuller view with fresh and different perspectives. There are times I feel things so deeply when I am with my friends I  experience my heart opening. I love when ideas are presented that spark the creative process and there is a mind-stretching sharing that happens that keeps building as though it will go on forever. And then there is the pure sweetness of being loved, nurtured and cared about with no conditions, judgments or expectations.

Yes. For me, friendship is the BEST! I have come to thrive on it, enjoy it, live for those times it grows. Just thinking about it makes me laugh right out loud. I feel absolutely, abundantly blessed. There is no doubt about it, with my friends is my favorite place to be.

Inspiration

Inspiration is an experience that can take many forms. Wikipedia refers to artistic inspiration; sudden creativity in artistic production, spiritual inspiration; realization of something greater than ourselves, and creative inspiration; sudden creativity when a new invention is created.

Music, films, literature, businesses, cars, perfumes and travel journals are just a few forms that have been taken with the concept of inspiration. People have not only been inspired but have named songs, films, stories and poetry, business plans, cars, perfumes and travel places "inspiring".

What does it take to be inspired? Some people call inspiration the "muse". The muse takes us to a place of awe, wonder, curiosity in ourselves where we want to do something.

Inspiration is an energy that is high and wants to move somewhere. That is why artists speak of sudden outpouring of works, when this energy is present. That is why the creative impulse results in some form. That is why birth, death and life altering situations that arise in our lives bring us to new spiritual understandings and beliefs.

Loss, change and difficult things that happen in our lives have the potential to inspire us. This process can take lots of work and time but the end result can be a transformation to inspiration and a change in our perception.

People, places and things can inspire us. This experience can be sudden or take a long time to identify and appreciate. We have to be open to the experience of being inspired or else we might just get taken by complete surprise.

What does inspiration feel like? I believe it can be different for each person but there are attributes that are common elements for everyone. Inspiration can bring an "ah ha" moment. It can be a sudden sense of vastness and awe. It is a euphoric sensation. It is motivating. It feels great!

I wait on inspiration, sometimes for years. I don't know when it will happen, what will trigger it, what i will do with it or how it will manifest. All I know for certain is that I have been and will be inspired again. I can hardly wait...

Connection

Connection makes growth and change possible. The act of connecting is the creative process, the state of being and the life force. If you can view every connection that is made within a lifetime and see how one connection influences another, then you will understand the complexity and uniqueness of each human being on Earth.

The deepest need in the human psyche is for connection. Even in the womb there must be "enough" connection with the mother and environment for a child to be born. From birth on there are multiple and never ending connections made as a child becomes an adult, an elder and passing over at the end of life.

To have true connection it is important to know all parts of your self. Embracing the light, shadow, and dark is essential for growth and expansion. Without awareness of all aspects, connection is difficult because you are not able to be totally present. This makes authentic connection impossible.

Connection allows you to re-access what has meaning in your life. It encourages you to develop the important attributes in life: personal responsibility, self-initative and self-mastery. Living these attributes give you choices which determine the quality of your life. These choices need to come from a deep trust within yourself that your soul is your guidance system.

Creativity will become enhanced as you practice making choices and learning from the consequences of these choices. The purpose of life is to discover what brings you joyful vitality. Connection allows you to identify what allows your soul's consciousness to flow through you.

We all have the choice to participate in fear or in the path of hope of human evolution. The Earth energy is powerful and plentiful. All realities and all choices can coexist in this same field of time and space. As our vibrations shift and change from the choices we make, we create new ways to live.

Living with this level of connection puts us in a position of being able to serve and grow toward a higher level of human consciousness than we have ever known. Growth and change are the results of connection. They are within our reach and the touchstone to our future.