MAKING MY WAY THROUGH CHANGE

I am in a quandary. Everyday I have more questions than answers. I guess that is part of being human today. Our world is being disassembled one piece at a time right before our eyes. We are immersed in fear and insecurity. The changes seem to be happening so quickly I suspect we will only fully understand the transformation in hindsight.

Some days it seems as though humanity is deteriorating rather than getting better. Other days it feels like nothing is happening. Sometimes it looks like humanity is doomed, but I really don't believe this in my heart.

All I can sense for certain is that something very unusual is happening. Are we being nudged by our higher intelligence onto the path of consciousness? Are we on the edge of a brand new frontier? Our entire world is in flux and I am sensing a brand-new, more light-filled existence is in the making.

The overwhelming feeling of having so many variables at play makes me uncertain of how best to navigate this vast unknown. How can I proceed without "seeing" what is in front of me? How can I know if the steps I am personally taking are leading anywhere constructive?

I find some comfort in "knowing" a few things and consider them often to help find my way. First, I believe that my soul came in at this auspicious time prepared to deal with all the changes. I believe I have been developing key qualities throughout my life that helps me make optimal use of being alive now during the twenty-first century.

I feel the quickening of humanity's evolutionary cycle is giving me the opportunity to wake up my soul's potential and address unfinished business. It is hard to imagine the roles and identities I have been living could be unlearned and become increasingly empowering. At the core of my being I know there is nothing to fix. My essence is pure and perfect. The things that need to be addressed and cleared are the layers of dysfunction I have taken on from my past human conditioning.

Another thing I understand is the importance of living in the present moment. This means deciding right now that the energy of what I can create with my thoughts, feelings and actions matters in each and every moment. I was taught to look back on the past and to plan for the future. I believe this training came from a fixed, linear perspective that is part of the old-paradigm world that is crumbling.

Creation isn't limited to what I have done before. It involves unlimited possibilities. I was taught to think in limited ways and to regard myself as small and insignificant and needing outside direction and help. The new shift gives me a broader perspective. It wakes me up to my divine nature and reminds me that I am the one who creates my world.

In deciding my next moves, I feel the need to become increasing skilled in managing my energy, not only my physical energy but also my emotional and mental states. I need to be acutely conscious about how I am thinking and feeling. I believe the way to do this is by monitoring my thoughts and emotional states, without judgment, to better understand and harness my own energy.

I feel there is an increased need to listen to what my body is telling me, honoring its messages and taking intelligent action based on what I discover. My body gives me the information about what is happening in my inner and outer worlds.

I need to begin paying more attention to activities or people in my life that leave me feeling drained. I refuse to give my power away by blaming others for my discontent. It is important for me to consider what specifically is triggering disharmony within myself. By looking deeply inside myself I should be able to pinpoint any painful patterns that are catalyzed in these situations and take action to remedy what I find.

It is time to actualize my greatest resource: the ability to discern and disseminate the truth about my world and myself. I need to stop walking around blindly feeling hopelessly lost instead of having an awareness of what is real. I can find clarity about what is real, who to believe and trust and where to go next by developing spiritually and dropping the baggage of my past. It feels important to recognize my spiritual transformation is a process and not a punishment. That should make it easier to accept what is. I want to fight the urge to stay in my comfort zone and resist and fight the changes, because intuitively I feel that would only lead to needless suffering.

Maybe I have more direction than I thought. I have always believed that the answers are present in the questions. Hopefully, listening to my questions and being committed to growing will lead me out of my quandary and into a full and conscious life.

Mysteries Of The Moon

It was night of February 20, 2008. I was out watching the total eclipse of the full moon. The sky was enormous. There were no clouds. When the moon came up, it was a breathtaking milky-gold ball that lit up the horizon. As it rose and became white, the eclipse shadow began taking over. I kept watching it as the shadow grew and even tried to take some pictures of it. The pictures did it no justice. It is one of those things I will just have to remember.

I have been enchanted and awed by the moon as long as I can remember. Watching her cycles wax and wane has taught me more about life than just about anything else. She has been the most consistent and dependable thing in my life. I know she is out there when it is cloudy, her path misses my view, or when she is covered by the shadow of an eclipse.

When my son was small and one of us would go away, I used to tell him that we were never far away from each other because we could both see the moon. That made it much easier to be apart. It would have been unbearable if the moon had not been there for both of us. Even though my son is now an adult and on another continent, I still use my reference point to be certain of our connection.

Once an amazing thing happened. While watching the moon one night I had what I would call a sacred experience. I was on a mountain in Colorado camping out under the stars when a full moon rose in the sky. The light was so bright I could see as if it was daytime. I was laying in my sleeping bag watching the sky in wonder when, suddenly, I had the experience of not being separate. It was as if I was a part of the mountain, the sky, the moon—I was everything. From that moment, my spiritual life has filled and changed my perception of life.

I was hungry for lunar knowledge. I found the symbolic and spiritual connections fascinating. I read folk stories, fairy tales, poetry, novels, magazines, astrology, psychology and any spiritual books I could get my hands on.

I found out that many ancient cultures worshiped the moon more than the sun. Some called all deities the “moon”. To the Greeks, menos meant both “moon” and “power.” To the Romans, the morality of the Moon-goddess was superior to that of the Sun god. In many cultures, the Moon-goddess and the Creatress were one and the same. The Moon-goddess was thought to create time, with all its cycles of creation, growth, decline, and destruction, which is why ancient calendars were based on phases of the moon.

Because the Moon-goddess was threefold, the Destroyer as well as the Creator, she was the devourer of the dead as well as the giver of life. The Greeks located the home of the blessed dead in the moon. Most important for its association with birth, the moon was supposed to be the receptacle of menstrual blood by which each mother formed the life of her child.

Few religious symbols occurred in so many diverse contexts as symbols of the moon. Despite all the church’s condemnations, rural folk continued to trust the Moon-mother in all their most important activities. To them, the moon governed women’s sexuality, birth, death, and magic. (Walker)

As I gathered information, my own beliefs began to take shape and I was swept away with inspiration. With the new insights, I began to feel my power in a new and exciting way. The moon began to signify the feminine to me. She became a link to my mother, and her mother and her mother. I remembered when I became a mother and felt her presence right beside me, holding me and rocking me back and forth, back and forth.

I was beginning to understand the moon's energies about life and death. When my mother died, I initially felt as if I had lost all connection to everything. It was night when I got the word, and all I could do was go outside with my dog and sit on the ground under a huge tree and weep. Just as I was being submerged in agonizing despair, I looked up and the moon was peeking over a cloud at me. I remembered in that instant my connection to everything, including to my mother, now on the other side. Knowing I was part of everything, even death would ever take her away. My mother died thirty-one years ago this month. It seems like yesterday and forever. Tomorrow is my son’s birthday. It seems like he has been with me always.

As the eclipse completely obscured the moon, I took deep breaths and basked in the gratitude of her presence, her secrets, her power and the mysteries that she has offered me. She has shown me about the cycles of birth, life and death in many it's many forms and ways. She has helped me connect with spirituality. Because of her and what she has come to represent to me, she has enriched my life with a wondrous journey. I celebrate the blessings of the moon as she travels through the sky, holding her secrets for me to discover.