Heaven and Earth

As long as I can remember I've been fascinated with the stars and the moon. Growing up way out in a tiny town in the Midwest, the night sky was vast blue-black darkness and offered a wonderful introduction to the mysterious worlds beyond.

It was not unusual to hear the adults in my farming community communing about the heavens. They knew that the heavens controlled the weather. Weather was their survival and it was mentioned in every conversation I heard as a child.  Their comments about the weather were actually outward descriptions of internal feelings. For instance, if someone felt good, they would talk about a day that was sunny. Or if someone felt sad, rain would work its way into the conversation. They religiously planted and harvested by the moon, and consulted the predictions in the Farmer's Almanac more frequently and reverently than any other source.

My curiosity about the night sky was further piqued by the stories my jovial Uncle Tommy told me about how the stars formed constellations. I loved hearing about which ones were visible depending on the time of year we were out watching. I found it fascinating to imagine children in other parts of the world viewing constellations we couldn't see.

The Big Dipper felt at times like a true friend because it seemed to always be waiting for me. It was the one constellation I could find. I became completely intrigued with the North Star as a guide that would let me know where I was and show me the way home.

My early bonding with the stars was an extremely important point of reference. Even though the stars were far far away and I could really only imagine them, their influence on my feelings, my sense of self, my assurance of protection and safety and consolation whenever I needed it helped me establish a grounding within myself that surpassed anything I experienced from the other parts of my life.

By day you would find me sitting high up on a branch in a tree watching the clouds and trying to figure out where the stars were. Large white fluffy clouds would slowly float by against the azure sky. Their shapes captured my imagination and took on the forms of horses, towers, dragons, dog and cats, and a myriad of other things. It was so peaceful. When I was there, I felt like I was part everything--the tree, the sky, the breeze.

I started observing my family from up in the tree. They felt like a big muddle that had little to do with me.  I had no chance to be or even know myself there. I found myself turning more and more to the trees, the clouds and the stars for more honest reflection and comfort.

One day, while musing in my favorite tree, I had the realization that my chaotic outer life was not connected to my more content inner life. This explained the feeling of being divided. My predicament was disheartening. I had many questions with no answers as to how to harmoniously bring them together.

This realization unknowingly began the search that put me consciously on the path of my spiritual journey. I had become a seeker. It took a long time to realize that it was my discomfort that gave me the motivation and courage to keep moving forward even when the path got rocky.

At first the journey took me inward. When I was quiet and away from the hubbub I could hear my own thoughts, feel my own feelings, and dream my own dreams. These emerged from my inner self and came to me whenever I listened.

My inner life got more intriguing and inspiring as time went on. I sought out wise friends and insightful mentors to guide me. Everywhere I went and everything I did shed light on my queries. I found myself deeply immersed in yearning to understand different cultures and religious traditions, spiritual practices, meditation, poetry, psychology, mythology, and nature. The more my thirst for learning was satisfied, the vaster my questions became. I was mesmerized by all the ways contrasting beliefs connected people to something greater.

I began to notice how a strong connection to my inner life influenced my outer experiences. Life was no longer just a big soap opera happening to me from the outside. I had lessons to learn and having a spiritual connection helped me deal with those situations in new ways. My life began to turn away from earthly drama that separated me from myself.

At some point, I don’t exactly remember when, my feelings about life began to change. Every day seemed like an amazing unfolding gift. Synchronistic happenings in my outer world began to mirror my developing inner life. Aligned with a more expansive sense of self, people and opportunities of genuine substance began to appear.

My life resonated with the feelings I had experienced while up in the trees as a child. Relating inwardly and outwardly to everything was my connection to Spirit bringing my life together. I was astonished to experience my outer life working together with my inner one. My own inner stars were shinning through the vast darkness. I concluded it must be joy I was experiencing as both worlds imperceptibly began merging into one. Heaven and Earth were integrating into a seamless whole.

The next time there is a starry starry night or a big full moon, you can bet I'll be there looking up with a smile on my face.  Maybe you'll be looking too? We can experience the magic together.