I wanted to go. I wanted to be there to hold him when he was
newly arrived and welcome him to the world. But, my son and his wife live in
Great Britain. I live in Colorado. I admit I was attached to the newborn “thing”. I love newborns!
I love how they smell, how they sleep, how the nuzzle up and their lovely
gentleness. It is a miracle how they arrive, as if from another
world. Birth is a mystery that fascinates me and always has.
It took me probably too long to hear my daughter-in-law’s
request for space. At first it felt like a slap—an “I don’t want you
around”-kind-of-rejection. After a while, I took the high road and kept
perspective. From that vantage point I realized a greater thing—my place in the
process of Finn’s arrival was to help them from the other
side of the world.
But, “what does that look like?” I wondered. How do you
participate energetically from thousands of miles away? I needed to pull out my
metaphysical hat to remember the answer to that question. This one was going to
need BIG thinking.
My emotions were scrambled and ENORMOUS as I tried to calm
myself enough to wade into this territory with a different approach. Once I really
began listening to my feelings the situation began to shift. I needed to let my
emotions direct me to what I wanted. What I wanted was to be the best, most helpful,
loving Grammy possible.
I calmly meditated on what this might look like. The image conjured was of loving children. I was flooded with images of my son when he
was born. It felt like my heart would burst. There was more love than I ever imagined.
It didn’t take long to feel the pattern once again. Concentrating on and
holding “love” energy was what I did in my
son’s birth and entry into the world. Now, as Grammy, the process was the same
for Finn.
I felt the hugeness of the love. I felt the energy of love.
I felt the bouyency of the energy of life. I felt part of something much greater
than myself. That energy had no bounds. It was not personal, situational or in
one particular place or another. I didn’t own it. It was simply there for me to
be held. I liked it! A lot!!!!!
It was an easy small step from this awareness to
transferring love to Finn and my son and daughter-in-law and their little
daughter, Amelia. I could just think about them and feel the love and
light. There was an endless bounty of love. In fact, love seemed to expand exponentially
as I was immersed in it. I had found my place to be the best Grammy possible on
the other side of the world.
Last weekend, before Finn’s birth, I got an indication from
my daughter-in-law about when it would be good to visit them. October. I am
thrilled when I think about going. It helps me formulate a concrete plan. I will
undoubtedly enjoy it beyond imagination. Still, I am blessed with the awareness
acquired through the process of Finn’s birth: Love is bigger than
personally being in one place or another. Being part of something does not
exclude you. You can participate in something wonderful and be on the other
side of the world. I love being a Grammy!
